Day Wine

My husband laughs at me for falling asleep with more wine left... It's really a strategic plan! To sit alone the next day and wallow over a few glasses of staling wine like my life is dramatic. 

Ralphs

SOOOO this happened. Exactly like this. After that I tried to make a humourous joke about donuts to a guy, who proceeded to then rant about how he had just had all of his teeth removed for 'science', so couldn't really enjoy the donuts unless they were soft. Holy weirdos. Fuck you, Ralphs!

Favourite Pen

I kinda have a break down every time I lose something. Which is about 4 times per minute. It's a stressful life...

Pie and Burger

If you know about Pie and Burger in Pasadena, you know the craving, and the unfortunate ecstatic rage that follows first bite. It cannot be undone. You WILL lose friends.

Gotcha, Bitch.

My dog has a filthy mouth. He swears like a sailor, that French.

Valkyrie Helm

My mom and I have an interesting relationship that doesn't frequently involve the same priorities. She is also more than a foot shorter than I am...

Red and Blue

Tvilling....